Camryn Manheim

Dear Camryn,

I was watching the coverage of the George Zimmerman trial and during a break or commercial I caught an interview with you about a show you are either currently doing or currently preparing to do.   First, you look great.  I was a HUGE fan of The Practice and when I saw you today.....well, you looked great.  

But when you said, and I apologize I don't have the exact quote, "Men are just larger boys.  It's easier to do it alone" I was really disappointed.  You have to know better.  

I'm a 20th year high school math teacher in Southern California.   I've seen a lot of teenagers and I've worked with a lot of parents.  I've seen the effects of great parenting and the costs of poor parenting.  While I don't have children, I still believe that my work has given me the right to share with you my experiences.  

Children need balance.

The balance between a mother teaching a son to read, cook, treat others, etc. and fathers teaching their son how to swing a hammer and start a fire and change a tire.  I'm not saying women can't.   But some women can't.  As the son of a general contractor, it turns out there is a right way to swing a hammer.  Through some experiences, men learn things women don't.   And of course, vice versa.

The balance between a mother buying too many v-neck pastel tee shirts for her son and a father bringing home a black Raiders hoodie.

The balance needed when the child needs to be punished.  I'm not talking about belts and beatings, but on a personal note, I didn't do a lot wrong growing up because I had a good healthy fear of my father.  He didn't stand for a bunch of nonsense.   He also raised 3 kids, 2 with Master's degrees and the other a medical doctor.  He was tough and at times brought us down.   Mom picked us up.  I am so blessed to have had that structure and balance.

My dad taught me to fish and shoot a gun.  To this day we both share a love of cars and knives.   My mom taught me about manners, character, relationships and love.   To this day she is my hero.

I've seen too many boys growing up without fathers that don't have balance.   Growing up, boys have questions about things they don't want to ask their mom about.  

I could go on and on but I'll leave it at this.  The way you dismissed a boy's need for a male influence is disappointing.  Your bold and arrogant attitude will ultimately lead to your son lacking something.  I pray that he lives a blessed and wonderful life but I fear your arrogance will prevent that.

Jake Schwartzberg

Facebook

It's my own fault for reading.

Lately, I'm really disappointed in Facebook.  Not the program (app).   Not that at all.   Thank you Facebook makers for providing me with a location on the Internet that allows my friends, former friends, ex-wives, and former students a way to stay in contact with me.  In all seriousness, Facebook has been a plus for me.  I've been invited to weddings, anniversaries, funerals, memorials, reunions, and  all number of events because formers can find me.   Because of  all the moving around I've done,  6 high schools in 6 cities, I've lost touch with former friends and students.   I'm very happy people can find me.   Turns out, I like being found.

The mistake I'm making is reading all the absolute garbage and nonsense my "friends" are posting.  Some is great.  But allow me to rant at the following,

Are we STILL TAKING PHOTOS OF OUR FOOD!!!!!!!??????   Really?  We haven't gotten the memo that no one really wants to see the cute drizzle of carmel atop your 1000 calorie, whipped creme covered Mocha Frappa-Cappa Latte?   Let me be clear.  Stop.  Stop now.  Stop cold turkey.  You can do this.  Resist the need to take a photo of your food and drink.   Know this,  even your friends "liking" the photo are laughing at you.  

Are we STILL TAKING ALL OF OUR PHOTOS WITH OUR TONGUE OUT?   It was funny for a while.  I liked seeing silly pictures.   Even took my share.  Enough.  Especially from my more adult friends.  Stop doing everything the idiot kids are doing.  Looks a bit needy when adults follow the lead of the kids.

Thank you for posting photos of your weddings, vacations, birthdays, etc.   I mean that.   LOVE seeing happy.  But, stop posting photos from random parties.    It's time to be a bit more discreet and savvy.  Employers are looking at FB pages.  Seeing every other photo of you with a drink in your hand is a bit off-putting.  And, anyone of my friends stupid enough to be photographed with a bong, pipe, joint, apple, hookah etc....ANYWHERE in the photo... I'm immediately de-friending you.   In addition to questionable decision making, you are too dumb to be my friend.

Handicap Parking Pass

I just about got my ass kicked today by a guy twice my size.

I drive into the parking lot of Kmart (shut up) and begin the process of getting out of my car.  I have to put the convertible top up, put my backpack (with some very nice pencils, pens and graphing calculators) in the trunk, and make the change from prescrip sunglasses to prescrip seeing glasses.  I'm early in the process when a gorgeous, black, new, expensive, BMW parks across and two spots away from me.  Handicap spot.  Hanging from the rearview mirror is his handicap parking pass.

About 35 years old, he parks, gets out of his car, beeps the beep, and literally jogs across the parking lot to the front door of the store.  Handicap parking pass.  My blood starts to boil.

Amazingly, the two of us find ourselves leaving the store and heading towards our cars at the same time.   My big mouth starts and argument that I think went something like this;

Me:  Nice handicap parking pass
BMW: What?
Me:  I see you have a handicap parking pass.  Nice.
BMW: What do you care?
Me:  My parents are 88 and 82.  Dad is on oxygen and he can walk about 30 steps before needing to rest.  We really need his handicap parking pass so we can get him out more.  Never any spots though.
BMW: So?
Me:  So?  That's your response?  So?  You take a handicap spot, jog into the store CLEARLY not handicapped, and you don't care that your taking the spot from someone legit?
BMW:  My mom is handicapped asshole.  I didn't steal the pass. She needs it too.
Me:  Look you ass-hat, quit using the pass without your mom in the car.  There are 20 other spots here (Kmart) and you use the handicap spot?  Classy.
BMW:  F#!k off bi%@h.  Mind your own f#!king business.  Get out of my way.
Me:  First class language too.  Classy to the end.
BMW:  Keep talking bi%@h.  I'll f#!king kick your ass.

He was about 6' 2"  210 lbs.  I'm pretty big too.  5' 6 3/4"  150 lbs.

I got into my car and left.

D. Chair

My principal informed me yesterday that I would be the new department chairman for the mathematics team at Dana Hills High School.

I was the department chair for 2 years at a previous school and learned an important lesson at that time.  It is impossible to make everyone happy.  Back in the day, the department chair had a variety of duties but none was more important, more visible, more contentious than doing the mathematics department schedule.  It wasn't hard to decide when to offer a class or how many sections of each class would be needed, but making the final decision of who would teach what was never easy.  There would always be teachers not thrilled with their schedule.

There are a bunch of other important things the d. chair does here at Dana; work with the district office to inform staff of changes, work with the leadership team at the school to propose changes, order and maintain supplies, etc.  But again, who will teach what is a big part of the gig.

The first time I had the gig, instead of fully pissing off a couple teachers, I think I kinda pissed off all the teachers.  I was audacious enough to ask the guy teaching 5 AP level classes to teach 4 AP's and one lower level class.  I was so bold as to schedule a teacher to teach 2 sections of Geometry instead of 2 sections of Honors Geometry.  I thought that it was important to reward a hard working teacher who had taught nothing but low level classes for 5 years with a schedule that included some higher level classes.  Oh the humanity!!!

At Dana, I never wanted the job.  When I got here 10 years ago, Jim Ferguson was the chair.  Heck of a guy, heck of a teacher, heck of a d. chair.  Jim retired a year after I started and Nancy Williamson took over.  Nancy has been excellent for 10 years.  Her greatest strength is her patience with us, but she is everything a chair should be; organized, motivated, honest, fair, and calm.  I have come to look up to Nancy as a mathematician, a teacher, and a woman of good character.

Every year teachers are asked if anyone wants to interview for the job.  Every year when we are asked if we want the job,  we all say no as we ask Nancy to stay with the job.

Now, after 10 years, she's done.  I was nominated by my team, interviewed by my boss, and named d. chair yesterday.

I'm proud, excited, and scared.  I'm proud that my colleagues and principal believe I'm the guy for the job.  I'm excited to have a seat at the "leadership" table with all the other d. chairs.  I'm scared I'm not the guy Jim was and not the chair Nancy was.  Big shoes to fill.

I'm also more ready for this position than I've ever been.  Here's to fresh starts and new beginnings.

Less is more

The older I get, the more successful people I meet.  Every stinking one of them is a self made man or woman.  I have yet to meet anyone of wealth and success that simply inherited their fortune.  I know they exist, I just haven't encountered any.  Every successful person I know is a self made man or woman.

I tutored a girl whose parents were a mess (drugs, alcohol) and was being raised by her grandfather.  He lives in 7000 square feet RIGHT on the water in Dana Point, CA.  He's an entertainment lawyer who grew up the son of a janitor.  He put himself through school and law school and became the man that he is.  I have friends that are doctors, business men, teachers, firefighters and a bunch of other professions and as I get to know them better, I am overcome with the belief that parents should give their kids almost nothing. 

My great take-away from knowing these men and women who became successful is that they became successful because they overcame adversity.  I think they may NOT have achieved what they have achieved if someone had given them help.  It's risky, but parents should not give their kids anything.

I know that I live in an affluent community in Southern California but the way parents are handing their kids everything is a disaster.  I have students who have had new cellphones every few months.  They break them, lose them, want the latest technology or whatever.  Whatever they want they seem to have. I have students whose first car is a new BMW.  Are you kidding me?  What does the kid have to look forward to?  They treat "their" belongings poorly because they never worked to get them.

My first car was a 1969 VW Bug.  This was way before it was cool to have a 1969 VW Bug.  This was 1979 and I had worked pretty hard to save the money to buy it.  Can't remember the price but I bet I worked for 18 months saving money.  I had a newspaper route in a giant apartment complex and I delivered the morning paper every day.  I also worked 20 hrs a week after school at McDonald's.

I had crappy cars all my life.   As I think back my  78 Chevy Impala, 82 Honda Civic, 84 F150 Truck,  were all used when I got them.  I remember buying my first brand new car.   I was 42.  Now I have a great car.  2008 Honda S2000.  EVERY DAY when i get into "the rocket", I smile a bit.  I'm proud of where I've come given where I've been.

When we give, we take something away from people.  We take away a pretty important life lesson.  

Change? Nah.

I keep reading how teachers are incorporating new technology into their classrooms to help engage their students.  I-Pads , I-Phones, I-Whatever....

I fundamentally disagree with this approach.

Kids like cartoons.  Should we only show them cartoons the rest of their lives?   Some people would say yes if that is how the person would pay attention best.  But we limit the person by being so one dimensional.

Exactly the opposite is true.  People need to learn how to learn in any environment.  By playing to the child's current environment, we don't help...we hurt.  We need to be saying "this is how you are going to be delivered material, find a way to be successful".  Why?  Life is why.  The job you ultimately get may not give you the information you need to be successful in "a way that engages you".  (that was supposed to drip with sarcasm)

Here's how I use technology to help students learn in the way that they best learn.   I use a colored piece of chalk. 

Coffee Mug

One of my students gave me a coffee mug as a Hanukkah gift.  It's one of those message/motivational/funny/picture of a puppy mugs that I hate.  This one says, "Be the change you want to see in the world".... Ghandi.   Whatever.

Then I hear Michael Jackson singing about the same thing.  "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and change."

I'm getting soft but all of a sudden I can't stop thinking about this concept.  It's me that needs to change.  I need to be the change I want to see.  I need to make this world a better place.

I have to stop bitching about things and do something about them