Personalized Plates

I hate you. I hate you for so many reasons, but today, I hate you because of your personalized plates.

Here are some of the plates I've seen around.

SXYBLND No. I saw you. You are not Sexy. I know these things because I am not sexy and I am sexier than you. Therefore, by the "squeeze theorem" in mathematics, you can not be sexy and you cannot have that plate.

MYMINI Thank goodness you have that plate. You never know when you will be parked in a row of fire engine red, convertible Mini Coopers. Phew, this one must be mine. It says my mini. You idiot.

LUANN This plate was on a car driven by a guy. I laughed at first thinking he was driving the girlfriends car. Then the car gave it away. This is a guy's car. It had an oldschool lift, big music, rims. This was his car. This guy named his car. What a loser.

SS GUY We get it. The S's are dollar signs. I bet you were a mortgage banker. I hope you feel pretty good now that you've lost that job. Or, you're just telling everyone you are rich. Moron.

08VETTE I'll give you that the car is smoking. You win. But 08? Cmon, save it for like a 67VETTE. 08?

I hate everyone